The Breakthrough - I am JK Rowling

I had kind of a breakthrough.  I'm not sure I should jinx it though.  I started all these different things and they had similar scenarios.  I'd get the first scene written and think of something else.  In fact, when I re-read them, I had used some of the same names.  I decided that they were all pieces of one story, which means some names will be changed.  I put them all in one document and started writing the beginning.  Now I have 22,000 words. 

Today I thought about what was working and what wasn't, and I'm ready to make changes and add more.  I try to write a whole scene - dialogue first then I go back and add stage directions and stuff.  The next day I read it all and if it sounds stupid or repetitive, or doesn't make sense, I do rewrites.  It takes a while.  I stop when I don't quite know how to make the transition to the next bit of information.  That next bit will come to me the next day when I'm working out.  I don't know how it does that.  I think my mind relaxes or something.  I almost see it in a waking dream.  It tells me what to say and do, and what it all looks like visually. 

I almost feel like the story was there all along.  I did what made sense - I couldn't build another non-consent BDSM world without referencing Cinderella Club a little.  I am looking at one character in particular who had a spot on the periphery of CC, and now I have her story - sort of, and a number of others that can take place in the same location.

I don't want to share any of it yet because every time I share in real life, someone either copies me or tries to change the idea somehow - they want to be part of my process, which I thoroughly hate.  This story feels like I had written it before, in another dimension, if there is such a thing.  I would like that to be true because I would like to believe that somewhere else there is a Mia Natasha with a slightly different story.  Maybe a better one.

I also hate when people say "Life's too short" and "You only live once".  Life is not that short.  Sometimes it feels like an eternity.  An animal's life is short.  I look at my cat and I wonder what it will be like when we have to cross that bridge.  My cat represents a specific chunk of my life, like the Mayan Calendar.  When my cat is gone it will be an ending.  I will reflect on the time we had together as our dynasty or whatever, and assess my success during that period.  Have I made any leaps in this time?  What the fuck am I doing?  I don't really want to think about that.

When I'm writing, I am so into it - as though it's the greatest thing ever written - unique, original, refreshing....  I get high from it.  Not manic, just - happy.  Content that I am creating and I have the confidence to do it.

JK Rowling had good reviews on her pen named book but sold only a few copies.  So what did they do?  They totally told.  I don't buy that it was uncovered by other sources.  I think it was leaked to the media.  What if I said that I am really Jo?  Of course, no one would believe that, because we sound nothing alike.  Too bad.  Because I have good reviews too.  It's never enough.  You can fool yourself that it is, but it isn't.

I sent paperbacks to specific people hoping for the kind of media attention that is bigger than a random blog.  But nothing yet.  No responses.  Does anyone read blogs?  I know there are a few of you who read this even though you don't comment (Hi, Kelly).  I know I'm not talking to myself because if I were, well, that's a sad face emoticon, which I would post if I knew how.

When I re-read old diaries, I feel like it's a different person but I love that person.  That sounds about as narcissistic as they come, but I do.  I do love myself.  I am strong and courageous, organized and focused, (and I have a pretty fucking great ass).  I love the idea of finding my younger self  (in a time-travel) and sitting her down to tell her that she won't change very much.  And that is perfectly okay. (But oh my god, she's going to love my hair!)  I'm trying to think of a specific point in time that I would change that could change the trajectory of my life.  But I'm not sure I would change anything.  I keep wanting to go back to the night I first slept with The One so I can keep my clothes on and leave.  Would he have pursued me?  I doubt it.  Actually, I know he wouldn't.  I was always going to be just sex.  

Would I go back to high school and go slutty?  Fuck someone?  No.  Because I always wanted the relationship to be adult.  I never thought and still don't, that kids who live under their parents roof should be having sex.  I hate it because they are living children's lives but playing adult games and they are just not emotionally ready.  College students are the same way, let's be honest.  Dorm fucking seems to lead to marriage without even actually having dates, which is so fucked up.  I know women who had never even purchased sexy lingerie or stillettos because their relationships happened in sweatshirts and sweatpants, and one ratty bra that they washed on Sundays!

Which reminds me of the bondage pictures I see that people post on Twitter  - the homemade ones where the girl is roped up and in the background you see dirty laundry in baskets littering the floor, photographs of family on the wall instead of art (not placed there aesthetically either), and cheezy matchy-matchy furniture sets that would make the Architectural Digest editor's head spin while puking pea soup, and it's supposed to be sexy.  Is that sexy to you?

These days there are a gazillion twenty somethings living with their boyfriends on their parents' dime.  Apartments in big cities and jobs that can't pay for them.  And they are playing house.  To me that's not sexy either.

The men in my new book all own their own places except for one.  It's preferable for them to be in some way independently wealthy so they don't have to work in order for their Dom/sub relationship to be 24/7.  One will work from home... I have it all planned.  It's actually much easier to make them all have dead parents so you don't have to deal with them but I won't do that.  I think having the parents in there in small doses grounds the story because you see how the parents see the person and it's always different than the way they see themselves.  Like some people are complete fuck ups at work but their parents praise them galore!  Others work their asses off and their parents think they don't work hard enough.  I may have said this before in another post, but I love when each character in a show has their "problem".  In Star Trek the Next Generation, no one has the kid they want.  Warf's kid is like a Ghandi instead of a this-is-a-good-day-to-die warrior.  Wesley Crusher makes all sorts of stupid mistakes and gets emotional while his mother the doctor is calm under pressure, Jon-Luc had a son in one episode- not sure if he really was or he thought he was, but the guy did not want to follow rules.  In Beverly Hills 90210, every single character had a substance abuse problem or some other "issue".  Donna got drunk at prom, Kelly did coke, David was taking pills to stay up late to do that radio show....

Anyhow, there will be a huge cast of players in my new story.  I will challenge myself to write scenes with lots of people in them to balance the one-on-one scenes that can get repetitive.  Even so, people want the one-on-one relationships.

The other thing about that book from my previous post (On my own blog - http://mianatasha-erotica.blogspot.com/2013/07/thickening-plot.html) that I'd read for "research" :  the guy basically had no friends.  In the next book, which is so short because there is no plot, they go out with her friends and all he wants to do is take her home to fuck her.  The point of going out is to dress up, to be alluring while you are out in public showing off how much your man likes you, showing him to anyone  - look at this sexy fucker, everyone - he's going home w/ me.  Then you think about it, anticipate it and when the fucking commences, the hot liquid magma becomes full blown lava.

In real life, guys have tons of friends because they just hang out without the deep emotional stuff.  They like each other.  And that's the final piece to my puzzle today.  The men in my story will bond.  I'm aiming for epic - but if it is that in my mind only...then I really am JK Rowling.  And you will buy the book.  Should I have put that in caps?

The Twit in Mia

Okay, so I'm still not writing - except this.  Blogging does not count because it is kind of like writing in a journal, I guess.  It's here for me to blather on about what I should be doing rather than actually doing it.  I have very little free time these days and I'm spending it trying to get more visibility as a writer.  I'm on Facebook every night commenting on other people's threads.  I could plop down some opinions of my own but I don't.  Mostly I'm there to laugh at stupid stuff and not rant.  I do post links to blog posts and links to purchase my books.

Twitter is my new thing.  There's this thing called unfollow.com where you can see who is following you and unfollowing you and you can follow back or unfollow.  Follow, follow. follow, follow.  This is incredibly difficult for a person who lives a leader's life.  I have such difficulty with cooperative learning and sharing and all of that helping each other, which is the way of the world.  But really, it takes friendship to get anywhere in life and so the lone wolf artist is outta luck.

So here's what has happened since I joined "the system".  I followed over a thousand people and I now have over 700 followers.  This has happened in the past week, really.  I only followed something like 20 people before.  I wanted to read what people had to say.  Comedians mostly, because they have the best handle on short and concise one-liners that make you lol.  Joan Rivers, of course.  Close to eighty years old and she has her mouth on the pulse of all that is pop culture and I can only say Bravo! to that bitch as I bow down to her mastery of the media.

I had to say so long to her and Craig Ferguson and the Jimmys Kimmel and Fallon.  To Conan and Letterman, so long, and hello to a bunch of writers and randoms that I don't know.  Time to re-tweet (known as RT- ha, ha, I had to learn that!) The secret is in the re-tweets.  You do it as much as you can.  Then you thank all of the people who RTed you and respond to direct tweets and finally you tweet yourself w/ links to whatever - your blog, this blog, your books, etc.

The other thing is the hashtag. (#) Whoever thought of it, really?  It looks like this #MiaNatasha.  Hashtag something and it ends up on a trending page.  You are all probably rolling your eyes at me right now with a big duh!  (Do you at least still do that or am I like completely out of the loop?)  So I add BDSM and erotica, and Excessica and I don't know what to a hashtag as I'm tweeting now, and that helps me define myself so that other people will re-tweet me.

If this sound new to you, then I'm glad to help.  The thing is that ultimately a person with more followers than you will RT you and you'll get a lot of exposure and visibility is the key to success.  I have noticed more traffic to my blog, whether they are actually reading it is another matter.  Some people don't need to do any of this.  They are popular to the masses.  I was checking out the reviews for the 50 Shades books- there are over half a million on Goodreads!  I have 35 ratings for Cinderella Club, 19 for Cinderella Thyme, 8 for Cinderella Ending.  Then 8 for A Ghost's Chance (all five stars!) 6 for Jude's Whore and Dr. Cockburn's Medicine and only 3 for Putting the Madge in Danna.  Sadly those three are me and my best friend, and this wonderful woman named Renee who is my cheerleader.  Whah-whan!

I put my books on a shitload of lists there and it's kind of sadly funny that on some of them the books have one vote (mine).  Loser, party of one.

I'm really not phased, of course.  When I do all I can to promote myself, and by the same token to exercise and take care of myself, then all I can has to be good enough and that makes me feel good.  I will continue to try to establish myself as a force to be reckoned with, a force of one but so what?  I was never a writer to begin with and yet, here I am and there are people who think I'm good at it, people who actually think my shit don't stink so to speak.

So after this I will go back and tweet a little bit more.  Tweet, RT and repeat to my heart's content.  I hope you will do the same and shout me out too because I want to help you.  Help me help you.  Help you help me.  I am @mia_erotica on Twitter but you can find me by searching Mia Natasha.

The Project Runway runway finale is next Thursday.  Michelle is literally the lone wolf, the one who feels like the underdog who decided to actually use the idea of wolves as her inspiration.  She was the only one with a clear vision and I will cry tears of joy if she wins the competition just as I do almost every season because the culmination of hard work is always emotional for me.  Good luck, Michelle.  You'll be my hero (heroine) if you win it all and I will have the incentive to keep at this crazy erotica endeavor - like the leader that I really am.

In Defense of the Millionaire/Billionaire

I prefer a rich man. I've fucked poor and while there have been orgasms, I was ultimately not satisfied.

I used to go for the big cock, the one I could spot through exercise gear or tight jeans. The fit man from the gym with the blue eyes who seemed quiet but not shy. We would go to my place for sex. Fuck all weekend. Down the road we'd go to his place and that's where it all fell apart.

There was no future with a man who's only ambition was taking care of his own body. Call me a gold digger if you want but I did not go to college and graduate school to end up with a guy with nothing but a big TV and a refrigerator full of beer. You can give them a bit of a makeover. Dress them like they are a human version of a paperdoll, but that would only be a temporary fix and you'd max out your credit cards in the process. A man like that will end up growing a watermelon in his belly and losing all his hair, and maybe getting a bad back from his blue collar job and sex would end up being you sitting on him and...fuck that.

I know many women who took that risk. They won't leave since there are kids now but they need some kind of outlet.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a princess. I'm sure this is common, right? We all thought a prince would come and sweep us off our feet. We were good girls. A students who towed the line and thought, if we do everything right we will get what we want. We stayed virgins in high school and only thought of having sex when the boyfriend we had was supposed to be The One.

We thought we were special. But life has a way of slapping you in the face and you start to believe dreams will never come true so you marry the one who asks you and you relegate your fantasies to any alone time you might still have.

This person that I'm describing might be me or you. It might not be any of the writers on here at all because there are a lot of people who don't understand the phenomenon of the rich guy in erotica.
The millionaire/billionaire fantasy fulfills the dream. Good girl, not model perfect, gets the intensely gorgeous alpha rich business man who looks good in a suit as well as in exercise gear and, well, naked, since he is hiding a well-endowed cock. He's everything and he makes us believe again that our dreams are possible.

I've dated a lot of wealthy men in my time but only one who had the whole package. He married someone else so I guess that makes me the cynical one because I had what I wanted in my grasp but I fucked it up somehow.

Cinderella Club and my other books were like a cathartic way to bring the fantasy back to me in a time when I had to hide within myself to heal. A brown haired girl of average height who finds herself involved in the ultimate capture-bondage fantasy. She's a real life Cinderella and it's not just dumb luck. She's handpicked. Special. Because it's as it always was in her dreams. She's the princess and her real life prince charming is everything she's always wanted - the wealth, the man, his giant cock, his alpha fucking style.... And she can still be herself - an art dealer who loves fashion and has a best friend, and lives her life with the added bonus of having fantasy and reality combined.

Of course, in Cinderella Club the sex is explicit. There's reluctance sex, which is one of those taboos you either get or you don't. Not sure what kind of sex is in 50 Shades or any other erotica because I don't actually read it. I only write what I like and want, but I also know that there are many other women like me so I must be doing something right.

I might actually end up dying alone because I won't give up the fantasy. The rest of you are welcome to it. So let's raise our glasses to the millionaire/billionaire. May he be forever there for when we want to get our rocks off in the privacy of our privateness. Nazdrovia!

http://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Club-ebook/dp/B003YL4H3S%3FSubscriptionId%3D0V4JT1H35KWYMF0SKQR2%26tag%3Dspea06-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB003YL4H3S

Blizzard of a Chance & Mia

The best part of a blizzard is it is a great excuse to do whatever you want in the cozy nest of your home without anyone really bothering you.

I can stay in my cashmere pjs all day and cuddle with my cat.

There's on-line shopping and internet porn.

Arranging and rearranging furniture in a small space, exercise, laundry and all the other everyday bullshit that I do on a Saturday.

Finally, when there is absolutely nothing else to do, I will jot down ideas for future writing projects.

I'm not a procrastinator like some of my writing colleagues.  I'm a part time writer.  Probably more of a hobbyist, I guess, if you want to track my sales.  I only write when there is nothing else standing in the way of my focus.  Sometimes that window of opportunity is huge hence the six novels I have on the market.

I still need to figure out ways that don't require a $ investment to promote those books before I embark on more writing.  This is one - blogging here.  Forget Facebook - I interact with the crowd I met on Monsterburg Manor instead of using it as a place to befriend other writers.  And my own blog gives me a sad face.  I offered a chance to anyone who commented on my blog post a free PDF of A Ghost's Chance, my romantic paranormal erotica set on St. Valentine's Day, but have had no takers at all even after spending an hour or so listing it on the Yahoo groups.  Whah-wan!

http://mianatasha-erotica.blogspot.com/2013/02/ready-set-win.html

It's also available as part of a bundle prize if you go to Excessica Publishing's like page on Facebook - you'll need to post the comment "I love love."

Snow seems so pretty when it falls like this.  There is a snow storm in A Ghost's Chance, which is set in Watertown, NY.  There's a ghost too. I don't believe in ghosts to be honest but I do like the idea of someone being there to help, like a guardian angel.  Being Orthodox, I always have my home blessed and there's holy water in the cupboard for religious emergencies or whatnot.  Powerful shit that is, says the woman who has also written a novel about a whore fucking Jesus...

 

Big Head-Small Paycheck

I've been skirting my responsibilities as a blogger. Mainly because I'm not sure if it is a good use of my time. I received my Q1 sales spreadsheet and I am only making about $150 a month even though I have five novels on the market. It's mainly Cinderella Club selling. Apparently I did not sell a single Cinderella Thyme during the month of March.

So I think- maybe I should be doing more to promote? But that just gets me into more time spent on a dream. The books are available. People will eventually find them if they are good. It's that simple. Writing takes a long time. I can't whip something up and get it out there like the full time authors seem to be able to do. And as you all know, I'm not a people person. I'd rather make the art and let someone else sell it.

I'm almost done with the art stuff then I can spend the better part of the summer finishing my trilogy. After that I will reassess. It is phenomenal when I think about all the people who have read or bought and plan to read my stuff. I don't exist in the real world as a writer. Lunch conversation with my family turned into who's read Fifty Shades of Grey? I cannot believe how that book has sunk its teeth into American pop culture. But even so the next line is not I write erotica too. I'm Mia Natasha.

It feels so strange. But good strange because I wouldn't do it if people knew. It's like when I make art, there needs to be some element of wow-ie. The same as when you make an entrance into a room looking stunning. If people are looking over my shoulder, I'm out. Out for good.

A Ghost's Chance in Kindle Land Hell

I smell the fresh scent of excitement in the air.  What is that?  Because my stomach is in knots to the point where it feels tingly.  Not like a fart or anything.

A Ghost's Chance is here!  I had originally titled the book Ghost of a Chance, thinking how very clever I was.  Then I found out that a gazillion people have used that same title.  If you search it on www.goodreads.com, you will see what I mean.

A few years ago, a friend of mine died unexpectedly.  He was a guy who I thought I'd eventually have something more with.  We'd had great conversations.  The thing was we were always seeing other people.  The last time we saw each other he said he missed seeing me (we worked together until I had gotten a better job) and then he said, maybe I'll see you again.  Which I'd thought was a weird thing to say.  Maybe?  He died the following week.

So A Ghost's Chance is kind of my what if.  I like to think that my guy is with me.  He's there for me like a guardian angel.  I've had some very close calls accident-wise and...not that I believe in ghosts or anything.  I don't want to sound like a freak.  But there are times when I'm alone and I think I hear him talking to me.  But why me?  I was never his girlfriend.

There you have it.  It's autobiographical.  Maybe my Jeffrey is really with me, maybe I'm just crazy.  I must be crazy to spill my secrets like this!

The ebook will soon be available on all the sites.  So far it is here -

http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-aghost039schance-671190-140.html

Thirty-nine-year-old Ellen Murakami is still single. Her success in pharmaceutical sales has allowed her to own her own home in Watertown, New York. However, she’s still a bit of a failure at relationships.

As St. Valentine’s Day approaches this year, Ellen’s luck seems to turn. Will she finally find her soul mate in businessman Paul Webber?

Told through the eyes of eighteen-year-old ghost, Jeffrey Brayden, A Ghost’s Chance chronicles Ellen’s love affair until Jeff finally gets a chance to compete for her affections and fulfill his destiny. Will love conquer all – even if it is completely unconventional?

Follow Jeff as he searches for true love from beyond the grave in this heartwarming Valentine tale.

Then I started thinking about that movie I’d seen when I was eight. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Could I do that? Could I invade Paul’s body and make it my own? Maybe that was why I was here – but how the hell was I supposed to do that? Maybe I could just concentrate, I thought, and just make it happen. I mean, I am supernatural, right? And anything is possible. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried that concentrating on the positive outcomes thing.  
Get inside his body. Get inside Paul Webber’s body!

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw only the mist of the steam room, and my own transparent image as reflected within the glass door, which looked a little like the dead guy on that Stones album cover, Aftermath. I was alone in there. But in movies, like Heaven Can Wait, the body looked like the spirit inside. Hmm. Had it worked? I reached to open the door and my hand slid through. Nope, still me.

Paul had already exited and was now showering. He sang Paparazzi by that Lady Gaga person. Kind of made him sound like a narcissist, thinking that people would want to take pictures of him – naked I mean. Plus, I thought, Ellen’s taste in music is trapped in the ‘80s just like her heart. She likes Duran Duran - stuff like that. Was he really right for her? My instincts said no – unless it was my heart talking. I hated myself just then, because I thought it would hurt Ellen if she ever found out I’d tried to shit on her happiness somehow.

Anyhow, I tried again. I took a running start and leapt half way, kind of like a circus tiger jumping through a hoop of fire. I wondered if my ghostly ass might plop straight down to hell for this. God, I felt so guilty! I sprang through the shower curtain and hit Paul in the chest - thump-thud - and just ricocheted off, landing on the floor near the sinks.

Paul jumped out of the shower stall. “What the hell?” he shouted. “Is someone there?”

He looked scared. Clutching his chest, he started to breathe a little heavier. I could tell that his adrenaline level was rising. Then I watched his cock jump into an erection. Wow, it was a pretty impressive one as hard-ons go.

Hmm. I wasn’t supposed to steal his body, I thought. I guess I felt a little defeated, because it didn’t seem fair. I’d always been taught that love contained the power of the universe – a great love being the strongest of all. It was rock hard clear that I was supposed to remain on the outside and help Ellen find her love. And since it was almost St. Valentine’s Day, I’d settle for being Ellen’s cupid instead, and maybe this whole thing between us would end up making sense.

Words As Art, Amen

I guest blogged at Whipped Cream - http://wcguest.blogspot.com/2011/12/guest-blog-mia-natasha.html.

This is about the extent of the promotion I have done for Jude's Whore, my latest Excessica publication.   It's an erotic novel that contains a scene where the main character has sex with Jesus.  Oh, the taboo!  (I've been calling it Jesex.)  I know.  People have no trouble with all sorts of kink and creeper, but draw the line at their savior doing the deed.

I love Jesus.  He loves me.  IMO, he's fine with it.  I don't mean to be offensive.  The entire story came to me in a swoosh.  A dream or whatever.  It started with that scene but Jude's Whore became something else entirely - a love story between two people, a man and a woman and one of them is not Jesus.

I never thought of myself as a self-published author since I publish with Excessica but I realize now that my situation is so vastly different than that of a writer with a traditional publishing house.  I feel a hell of a lot more free to express myself  - like a true artist, the artist that I am. 

I didn't set out to cause controversy at all.  I came up with a plot that I considered to be original.  I didn't confine myself to a particular fetish.  This one has mild bondage, some mind control, erotic romance and time travel.  It has a rape scene too.  I almost forgot about that.

I also did not set out to write super-duper graphic depictions of sex.  It just happens.  Thank God I have no one to seriously reign me in.  This wouldn't be any fun if I had to conform to 10,000 suggestions by critics, rules and what have you.  I'm free to explore sexuality and learn things about myself that I would have never explored and learned had I remained in my stifled world of color and light, happiness and smiles.

I guess the thing I have learned is that I love living in an adults only world.  Of the billions of people out there, I'm sure there must be one or two kindred spirits that will get me.  And that's what's so great about self-publishing.  The novelists who are outside the regular system are the ones thinking outside the box...I mean outside the Kindle, Nook, or paperback box, that is.

Amen, mother-fukka.

http://www.excessica.com/books/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=30&products_id=485

The Thanks You Get

Thank you to those of you who have tagged Dr. Cockburn's Medicine on Amazon.com.  I really appreciate the help.  I don't have an Amazon account so I can't reciprocate the favor.  My credit cards are maxed out.  So no more buying for me.  I really thought that writing was going to be my ticket out.  I thought so because everything that was happening happened in a magical sort of way.  I wrote a novel.  It got published.  I wrote four more.  I was full of ideas that came to fruition.  I mean, it was like a dream come true.  I have had nothing but positive feedback and I made some friends along the way.

But it doesn't pay the bills.  I remember reading this article about Sheryl Crow and how she quit her job as a music teacher to become a music star but after six months of struggling she hadn't achieved her dream and she fell into a deep depression.  But then she bounced back and within a year she had an album out and I think started winning Grammys.

Tom Cruise had a similar story.  He'd said that he moved to NYC and gave himself six months to make it in the acting business.  Or maybe it was Hollywood?  No - I think he got a Broadway show and within months got his first movie and basically achieved success in less than his self proposed time limit.

So when I started writing, I had that same approach - not that Tom Cruise was my role model or anything, but I started seeing a pattern developing.  It was something that seemed to come up in interviews with many celebrities.  Don't continue if you don't make money.

Writing is another financial dead end. 

Art isn't something I will ever give up since I do it because I have a need inside of me to create, which is not motivated by money.  And anyhow, there are thousands of success stories out there about artists who struggled their whole lives before making it.  Like Louise Nevelson who was in her 80s when she finally made it.  And Grandma Moses didn't even begin painting until she was 70 years old.

I hate the fact that I have all sorts of success except the financial kind.  It's killing me.  No matter how you try to spin it, right now that is the only kind that counts.

Thanksgiving is coming up, so I want to take this opportunity to thank you all so much for your support.

Three other books won't be released until December, March and May so technically it could still happen.  But as of now I'm contemplating bankruptcy so no matter the outcome it will be too little too late.  It just sucks because this has been fun.  I liked being a part of the erotica world and I liked having a secret life.

The end. 

Sophomore Effort a Go!

Dr. Cockburn's Medicine is for sale!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0060GBTEY/spea06-20#customerReviews

Please help me tag it - BDSM, bondage, married man, erotica, what else?  menage?  I don't know.

http://www.allromanceebooks.com/storeSearch.html

http://www.excessica.com/books/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=6&products_id=469

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1104318398?ean=2940013225268&itm=1&usri=dr%2bcockburn27s%2bmedicine

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/99869

http://www.bookstrand.com/dr-cockburns-medicine

http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/b128669/Dr-Cockburns-Medicine/Mia-Natasha/?si=0

In paperback - http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Cockburns-Medicine-Mia-Natasha/dp/1466324562/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319896601&sr=1-2

Dead Sensei

Am gearing up to do promos - on those yahoo sites and wherever else I can.  I hope people want to read a Halloween tale on Halloween.  It's my favorite holiday.  I have two parties to go to so far and I haven't decided what I want to be.  Usually I have my costume planned by summer's end.  I hope it isn't a cold Halloween.  I wish it wouldn't snow at all.  I'm not a fan. 

When Dr. Cockburn's Medicine comes out on Amazon.com, I hope you will help me tag it.  Tags are the keywords that help readers find books in their favorite categories.  The more tags a book has, the higher up the search engine it goes.  Cinderella Club has about five keywords tagged about three times each, which isn't many at all.  People tend to find it because it has six really good reviews.

But poor Doc Cock will be all alone out there in the BDSM world fending for itself without your help.  Excessica takes care of sending it out to get reviewed but I am not sure which review sites they use.  Am not that worried.  I'm confident people will love the story.

I feel like I'm giving birth to my second child and I actually have none of the anxiety as with the first.  CC didn't get reviewed for weeks and then the first review was scathing.  That was such a bleak time for me.  It was actually the only review like that and I'm still wondering if that woman actually read it or skimmed the first chapter.  Oh well, I don't really care.

It would be nice to have good reviews right out of the gate, but I will try not to stress about anything.  Can only do what I can do.  And I have to remember that it's about the fun of writing.  I cried this morning listening to that speech that Steve Jobs had given at a college graduation ceremony.  Something about feeling more free to live life once he'd discovered that he was going to die from cancer. 

I'm not a free spirit - I mean, as much as I'd like to be.  If I could be and be able to pay my bills, I would be.  But mama just bought another pair of shoes.  (I'm not a mother - what the hell is wrong with me?)  Help me sell this novel so I can make a dent in paying my debts.  Once I become sensible, I'm sure that will free me up to be that person Steve Jobs wants me to be.

Ya Chat-tat-tat-tatty-hoo

I have a button for http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/ on my blog and if you haven't yet checked it out, it is a fabulous website for readers and writers of romance.  In my case erotic romance.  They have tons of things going on - discussions, book reviews, friendships, giveaways, contests...and eloop chats. 

I've scheduled a chat for Thursday, October 27th, 2011 from 6:00-9:00pm.  I'm telling you now because if you want to join the fun, you have to sign up for the yahoo group. 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/karendevinkaren/

I think you need to have a yahoo email account.  Then you go to the link and ask to become a member.  Once you are accepted, make sure you post something.  A hello or whatever, just to make sure your posts are received.  Then on my chat night, we can have a conversation about stuff, including my new book, Dr. Cockburn's Medicine, which launches the next day - October 28th. 

The way a book launch goes - it doesn't happen all at once, because the various ebook sites have different days of the week when they accept uploads.  And the print book never coincides with the ebook launch.  It's weird.  Not with a bang but a whimper.

But it's still very exciting.  I think I'll do a couple giveaways during the chat and maybe share some excerpts.  Unless, of course, I end up talking to myself.  That won't be such a big deal.  Been there, done that.  I can just post and eventually someone will read it.  Coffeetime Romance does have regulars who enjoy the chat group aspect and do it regardless of whether or not they know the author.  But it would be nice to chat with people who have read Cinderella Club or may have read an earlier version of Doc Cock before it became a 50,000 word novel.

It's so exciting to finally have another book on the market.  But I sort of know what it must feel like when an actor has to do talk shows to promote their movie.  Usually the movie was made the year before and they're currently working on something else.  And that's what's so strange.  It was a while ago since the last time I read Dr. Cockburn's Medicine.  So I have a month to brush up on it before the chat.

Oh, I hope you decide to join me.  It really will be fun to "meet" you all. 

Check out the website then get a yahoo account and click on the link to the yahoo group.  It's pretty simple to prepare to chatty-kathyfy yourselves.

Here's the link to my blog, in case you want to follow it - and please do!  http://mianatasha-erotica.blogspot.com/

Game On

I rewrote the first chapter in Cinderella Ending.  It still needs a lot of work.  I was a little repetitive but it's not that big a deal.  I can fix it or leave it.  Thomas was thinking and I felt like he kept vacillating between thoughts coming back to his oiginal theory.  I do that all the time, but it is probably redundant in book form.  I have to mull it over some more then try to make decisions tomorrow.

I worked for several hours but only managed 1,000 words. 

I'm going to try to write tomorrow - get back into the swing of it and get focused.  I know what the ending is but will it really be a Cinderella ending?  I don't have a clue because I really don't know what I'm doing.  I don't even know what I'm doing here.  For some reason, I always thought that if you were on the right path then your journey would make sense.  Everything would sort of fall into place, like love and stuff.

I'm not sure if this is the path or the detour.

The main reason for my existentialism is that I fell asleep to a 2012 doomsday show on the History channel and I got a little freaked.  Naturally, I had a nightmare about it.  No one seems to think it's a big deal - like maybe it's another Y2K.  And maybe it is.  But according to the show, they are predicting a tilt to the earth's axis based on its allignment in space.  And depending on how much we rotate, it could have dire consequences.  This is not Mayan or Ancient Chinese mumbo-jumbo.  It's real - science.

I'm surprised that more people aren't freaking out or at least having a sense of urgency in their relationships.  Maybe preparing for the end somehow or in my case maxing out every credit card possible.  Are you even remotely thinking about this?  Getting affairs in order?  Being nicer to people, etc.?  Or am I sounding like an idiot right now?

I had better get this fucking book written so it can have a May 2012 release date.  Otherwise there could be the possibility that I write it and no one gets to read it.  How dumb would that be?

Okay doomsday - game on!

I Am My Own Muse

Ideas are popping up everywhere - for erotic stories that is.  They swish into my mind  at the strangest times and linger in the corner until I'm ready to tap into them.  In a way, they remind me of that creepy I-see-dead-people movie.  Like they are all standing in a queue waiting their turn until they see me and suddenly they wave their arms frantically for a chance to be written. 

Unfortunately, I'm not the ADD type.  I'm a one-thing-at-a-time girl.  So they will have to wait.  Sometimes I'll write an outline in a journal and go back to it like it's buried treasure or something.  For example, the whole story arc for Cinderella Ending is in my head but I haven't written any of it yet.  I have plans to start July 1st.  Hopefully the thing will flow out of me because there are other things to write.

Does this happen to other writers - that the more you write the more you think of to write?  I don't have time to read any more because I am constantly rereading my own stuff, and I rarely watch anything on TV past Days of Our Lives, which, as much as it's annoying me right now with that horrid freak of a girl, Taylor, muscling in on EJ Dimera, will continue to be my rabid guilty pleasure.

I wish I had more time to get this all out of me.  I need a giant summer purge, like a brain yard sale.  Or maybe I can be like Sharon Stone and be someone else's muse.  That sounds like a sexy plan.  Hmmm.

Two Cents on Art Crits

Art criticism is an established style of criticizing works of art.  There are three components to it before one judges the work.

Detailed description - The critic must document all the details in the artwork.  What is there to see?  In a landscape, it wouldn't be just I see trees, it would be I see three trees in the background, in the top left of the painting.  They have an assortment of colored leaves including orange, yellow, and green.  The middle one looks to be a maple tree by the shape of the leaves.

Actually, more detail than that, but you get the picture.

Analysis - This is a detailed look at how the formal properties of art are utilized in the work of art.  How did the artist use the elements to create balance and rhythm, etc? 

Interpretation - What was the artist trying to tell you in the work of art?  Is it a painting about social injustice or love?  What are the clues that establish any kind of emotion and how do you feel when viewing it?

These three criteria for judgement reveal the three components in a work of art  - imitationalism, formalism and emotionalism.  Some people just like how realistic something looks.  Others appreciate a more formal use of color theory and line quality in their art.  Then there are the people who think art should have a message.  When a piece of art works on all three levels, the result is a good judgement, maybe even a masterpiece.

The truth is, most people don't understand art.  Some artists don't even know about these isms, especially if they are self-taught.  But once one sees that there are all these things behind the scenes at work, one tends to appreciate the gift of art.

So, now that I'm a writer, (okay, a self-taught writer) I try to utilize this same structure in my own work.  Writing is weird in that your finished work isn't actually finished until an editor or series of editors gets their hands on it and makes you second guess your original choices.

I admit that while formalism is my strong suit in painting, it is my weakest area in writing.  I am not super-duper well-versed in sentence structure, so it is helpful to have a second or third set of eyes on the work.

It just really bugs me that book critics don't use a standard format to judge the work.  They will have an emotional aversion to something and forego the amazing detail and organization of plot.  They won't see the brilliant use of literary form (if it's there).

Writing is also weird when trying to peddle to publishers.  We like sex, but not anal or whatever.  We like this but not that.  No this, this and this.  And that too.

I'm not used to such seemingly rigid guidelines to my art.  I create alone - then spring my finished series of paintings on the guests of my artist reception at a gallery.  They are always intrigued by the originality of the work.  Other artists always tell me that I'm very brave because I tend to use imagery and ideas that appeal to me personally, which tends to make me more vulnerable to criticism.

If an artist doesn't leave a piece of themselves in the work, then all it is to me is imitationalism.  I can't stand that.  It just isn't enough.  Writing can be an artistic outlet (should be) and I wish places like Amazon would stop treating a writer's art like it should be criticized without a legitimate form of assessment.

Sell-Sell-Sell!

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Self-Pubbed Cinderella

Hi everyone, I'm erotic author Mia Natasha, and today is my first post here on The Self Publishing Revolution.  Apparently the erotica I write is very explicit, more so than the average.  Which means that I have few options for publishing the work unless I do it on my own.  I was lucky to find a fit with Selena Kitt and Excessica.  Cinderella Club is actually doing well on Amazon.com right now because it is in the top 20 bestsellers in the category of rape.  I know, I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed about that or not.  I don't consider non-consent rape, because in my world the men are handsome and sexy and the women are unwilling at first but only because they  feel too guilty to be willing.  It's just a fantasy as all fiction is. 

There are plenty of women who share the reluctance fantasy.  I had read an article in Glamour magazine that said about 65% of the readers polled enjoyed daydreams involving capture-bondage.  It's a way for we independant new millenium women to relinquish responsibilty in our heads.  Not in real life.  The problem is that the book lists under the BDSM spectrum and  there are people who actually live that lifestyle who upon reviewing my book for content are all yuck, yuck.

Not everyone, thank god.  It was a book that took two years to write - from one scene in a dream to 140,000 words of epic novel.  Epic in the sense that I'm not a writer.  Not even an English major.  First generation American from an old country foreign family who has an art degree and paints for a living, thank you very much.

I'm living a dream, quite frankly, and self publishing is a big part of that.  These reluctance stories have always circled my head.  Shamefully, I was only thirteen when I wrote short stories in my room about girls who got kidnapped and boys who rescued them.  There was no sex, mind you, but the content was always there.  Is that weird?  I always knew I would be a writer one day, even though I never pursued it until now and I had never been encouraged so that obviously made it harder.

My book is doing well.  And so I've caught the bug.  I have three other novels finished, two will be published  later this year, one of which I have one chapter to go on.  I should get back to it now so that I can make the deadline.  Since Excessica is currently closed for submissions, the other one, Cinderella Thyme, Cinderella Club's sequel waits in limbo.

I'm not worried.  I believe that everything happens when the timing is right and it will all work out.  If you are the type of person who gets into ruts and doesn't think things will work out, I want you to think of me.  Because this dream of mine shouldn't have happened.  I wasn't even thinking about writing until I had that daydream of a woman (who looks like me, natch) sitting in a limousine.  It came out of nowhere like a magical summons to get back onto the right path.

Now writing is here in addition to everything else I do, not instead of.  Knowing that people all over the world are reading my book is such an unbelievable high, it really makes it all worth it.  Getting a check every three months for a dream come true is not bad either.  It certainly gets me motivated to write more.  That and I have a sick work ethic.

Pleased to meet you.  I plan to make this a regular gig so I'll pop off my glass slipper now and come back for it later - because that's what independant multitaskers do.

Here is the link to my blog - http://mianatasha-erotica.blogspot.com/?zx=418a7ac0ef1a045b